March 24

Last year's March 24 was one of the best days of my life. It's when we learned that Alivia's heart had begun to improve function, and the left venticle was not as enlarged as it once was. That day was the beginning of the healing of my own heart, I think. With each additional echo Alivia has had since that date, she's shown either additional improvement or has held steady within a normal - NORMAL! - range of function. To say that day was an answer to our prayers is putting it very mildly.

I had pictured what my reaction might be if and when we would ever receive news of her heart improving. In the six months prior to that date, every echo had shown no improvement and we felt lucky just to know things weren't worsening. But we wanted, so badly, to see improvement. I pictured all kinds of dramatic reactions to hearing good news - falling to my knees in tears usually being among the first reactions. Yet when the doctor came in and said he had good news, that he saw improvement and that he'd be back in a few minutes to tell us more, I just sat there and replied, 'You're KIDDING me.' To have our situation, and Alivia's outlook, change so suddenly was too much to take in. We sat there in that dark echocardio room with our eyes wide open and hugged Alivia, and then tried to keep our composure for when we walked out of the room back into real life. (And then we cried throughout the rest of the day as we shared the good news. At least, I did.)

A great amount of fear left my heart that day, and with each additional bit of good news we received since. I feel more closely back to my own "normal" now then I ever expected to, and I'm so grateful for that. I know I will always fear the "what-ifs" regarding Alivia and her heart, but I certainly don't dwell on those. God has given our daughter a great sense of vitality and strength that I marvel at daily. To see her embracing life with no limitations is one of the greatest gifts I could have ever been given. She has come so far, and has no idea what all she's overcome. She has never, ever stopped smiling, and our family is so, so blessed with her in it.